The dance of moth

  It was a stormy night when the fuse got out. I reached for my drawer and lighted a candle as it seemed a safer option than to fix the fuse of which I got no idea whatsoever. The bright yellow flame spread across the beige walls of my little room with my shadow over the pale brown curtains. It was interesting. The shadow was so dark and bigger than my normal self. The concept of umbra and penumbra somehow fail to deliver what shadow really is. It was at that moment when I saw a moth hovering out of nowhere trying to play a dangerous game with the candle flame.

Having all the time in this world, I was in no hurry to observe how this moth tries to tame the flame. The odds for which were fairly zero. It was a one way ticket. The very moment moth gets too near, the carbon of his body will provide nutrient to some blooming flower while nitrogen may form the lava of some volcano suppressed for far too long. My shadow was still there...right behind me...watching me...watching me how tiny I look and how tinier that moth which was holding me spellbound. Suddenly a thought struck me - 'What was the dream this moth had before his eyes opened and he frantically started searching for this flame?' Amazingly enough, it is as hard as to read the mind of a moth as it is to read another person's mind. Something I learnt that day. I had no clue what made him walk this road to assured death of which the decree was indeed signed my him!

The next moment my heart froze as I gripped across the table. He had made up his mind...the altitude was decreasing....the flap of the wings was getting stronger...reflection of the flame was clear in his eyes. Time slowed...my anxious eyes widened and the tiny voice inside of me which wanted to shout 'no!' withered away like some childhood dream... the only thing which remained unchanged was the shadow on that brown curtain. Watching all too closely.

'Tch'. That was the last sound I heard from that moth. Probably his last message for me before his body blazed bright and the silent smoke with his spirit got evanescent in the air. 'Thad!!' and the window got opened by the strong wind...the candle went out just and so was my shadow. I was only left with me. Thats when I remembered something...something which I read a long time back...

"They danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

Living with regrets?

(One of my friends here sent me a link while commenting on “Insult the dead”. I checked it and I stumbled upon a very interesting text by Bonnie Ware. Below a resumée: )

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

New 'thought pudding' coming soon in november!! ;)

Cause and effect: Life as we see after

Just when we thought its all over...we realize it has just begun. Life with all its shortcomings and bittersweet symphonies has always something new to offer. Nothing is ever the same. Everything is dynamic....constantly in motion. We all are heroes of our personal legend. Something which take a long to realize and well in most of the cases, it never does. What I am talking about is something which can be spoken in form of metaphysics, or pure science or pure spirituality or simply speaking the essence of life.

I still remember as a child when all I ever wanted to do was to fly my kite to the farthest point. Today, many things have changed but I still find one moment...may be not so frequent...but one moment to make my kite...to walk on the beach and make it fly to the farthest point. To be a perfect 'new born' in the same old place. The feeling is indescribable.We never remember the day how we felt when we were born except for the fact that we were all slimy, wet and crying...and then it all got worse. Honestly, it doesn't matter because this is moment we get our re-birth. When amidst all the chaos and problems...we still find that one moment...one imperfectly perfect moment of inner peace.

 

I have always been a keen observer of Karma. Something simply putting as whatever you do, will back to you. But then I happen to feel the underlying law beneath this law. Something which I have the right to judge in all possible scientific manners being myself a scientist with applied biotechnology and advanced nanoscience background - there exist no benchmark to life. Yes, there is no benchmark, no definition, no guru or no religion for life. In order to compare you first must have something of equivalent nature...it is like if I ask which is your longest finger? You will compare it with the rest and then tell me...but what if there is no other...there is no eye for your eye. At this junction at this moment...we tend to see the world with  a different view.

The entire science is based on cause and effect. when ever there are reactants there are products. The same applies to life....a series of cause and effect. You plant a seed...you get a tree. simple. But then if this is true the reverse of it should also be true...let there be a tree (effect) and there can be millions of seeds! right!? Let there be effect and cause must follow sooner than later! Try to be happy this moment..with the sheer pleasure of having one good deep breath...with pleasure of being able to see one more beautiful day...to see one more meaningful life and then let cause follow! Why to wait for the cause which you may never control..."if I get this job" or "if I get this money" "if I get this person" No. stop. You can not live the other life...you cannot control the variables not in your hand. Isn't it a better choice to relish the effect and let cause follow. Soon you will see the whole universe telling its secrets to you! The entire creation will be more magnificent than ever imagined...the fruit of karma shall come and pass and you will sway like a flower in the sun!

The entire universe is expanding....the entropy or disturbance is ever increasing. And I can talk it in terms of quantum mechanics or chemical equilibrium but I chose to let it as sample as it can get... plant an effect and let the cause follow. You will experience tremendous energies working around you all in wonderfully synchronous way...the awareness in itself shall be your inner light to unravel your personal legend. Cheers and plant a worthy 'effect' today :)

Neverwinter Song

When November bends above me

And find me lost in sleep

Winds need not keep the secret

Of the love once sowed not reap

When November tells the bushes,

The meadow-larks will know,

And pipe the three words gently

To all the seeds that grow.

Above my roof the smoke,

In notes of deep-etched rain,

Will tell the quite beetle

Beside my window-pane.

From beetle to the sparrow,

From sparrow far and wide

Then tell my love the secret

"The innocent love has died"

Erection of a wise man: Never near...always far

Human beings are strange animals. 'Homo Erectus' as some may know is not the time this four-legged ancestor of chimps stood straight and walked, but in true terms it is the first 'erection' (serious, no bullshit intended)
Centuries have passed, thanks to evolution the things just got well..what to say but from platonic erections to morbid fetish desires oh and well...not just limited to sex.

Erection without sex!?? It sounds impossible but you must've seen people drawing strange pleasure from almost anything and everything they can fancy (and not so fancy like getting a 'rat-race' job where you always have a chance to win a coffee mug or T-shirt! ). The time is about whims and fancies - the time is for 'Homo Sapiens'
Homo Sapiens actually means the 'Wise man' (some latin thing I guess)...but I fail to understand the criteria making it wise!?? May be the first thing 'homo erectus' wanted was its 'erection' to be legalized...and down came the words of almighty "Thou shalt be Homo Sapiens" and no one objected it. After all...erections are part of our pleasure!! Right!?

 Times have passed but we are still the same...walking on two makes us no different. The first 'erectus' was no different than what we are today....down trodden by erections...chained in desires....and the only way to justify is to call every thing 'wise' (the Homo Sapiens). Its like saying "the world has lot to learn from Amsterdam because the Tibet of Buddha is no more (Chinese democrasy...As God made everything...so God must be Chinese!!!) 

We are so keen going to the sub-atomic level, the nano-level and still so ignorant if not afraid of our own set of emotions. We are making DNA replicate in a testube and still be fail to understand the very 60-80kgs macroscopic person next to us! What history man! what history. The day is not far when evolution will give rise to the so called evolved version 'Robo Sapiens' although that is just a formality. We are more or less the same. 

Oh and thanks to global warning, soon we may have to rent our places as love-making joints for the smarter extraterrestrial life, you might see some aliens/spacebots making love while you still try to find the fucking meaning of your worthless life (come on! don't feel bad...you know its true!). There was a day when we all were throbbing with feelings...and now we are just trying hard to create any of those moments once again. The dream did got over but longing is forever. We try everything futile (oops! no no not futile ;) to experience the exterme...but in reality that is just a grudge against our subtle self who just calls for one thing - love (and sex, n multi-currency, rolls royce, red carpet dinner and penthouse in miami..oops I just got sapiened! ;D ).

What is Luck?

He worked by day
And toiled by night.
He gave up play
And some delight.

Dry books he read,
New things to learn.
And forged ahead,
Success to earn.

He plodded on with
Faith and pluck;
And when he won,
Men called it luck.
--Anonymous

This is luck. Simple.
If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all.
Michelangelo